Hard Determinist Limericks

Past Laws Fix

If past plus laws fix every move we make,
Then no alternative choice can ever wake.
We’re like dominoes lined—
No power to resign
The chain; thus free will’s a mistake.

Neural Tampering

Neural tampering plants a desire in the brain,
And we feel it’s not ours—we’d disclaim the strain.
But if determinism’s true,
All desires are stewed
By factors we never could constrain.

Libet’s Wave

Libet’s wave shows readiness before “I decide,”
Consciousness trails the neural tide.
If the move’s set in motion,
Our will’s just a notion—
A post‑hoc tale, not a guiding guide.

Desert Storm

Desert‑based blame? It’s like blaming the storm’s path,
When agents are fixed by prior‑math.
Resentment may fade,
When we see we’re just made
By causes we never could draft.

Drop Desert

Thus hard skeptics say: drop desert, keep reform’s aim—
Quarantine the dangerous, heal those who can reclaim.
No blame, just cause‑control,
Forward‑looking role—
Consequentialism wins the game.