Slidey the Deckworm
🪱 Who Is Slidey?
Section titled “🪱 Who Is Slidey?”Slidey the Deckworm™ is a native parasite of the corporate presentation stack. Born from bullet points and animated fade transitions, he burrows through decks, feeding on stacked charts and abandoned speaker notes.
He is never not on Slide 7. No one has ever seen Slidey begin. No one has ever seen him end.
🖼 Primary Habitats
Section titled “🖼 Primary Habitats”- Overused pitch decks
- Quarterly review slides with four fonts
- Strategy documents titled “Vision 2020+” (regardless of year)
- Compliance trainings that autoplay at 2x speed
🔄 Lifecycle
Section titled “🔄 Lifecycle”- Slides in.
- Eats context.
- Reproduces via copy/paste.
- Leaves behind vague arrows and orphaned KPIs.
When threatened, Slidey emits a subtle transition noise (“whoosh”) and retreats to a SmartArt diagram.
📊 Symbiotic Behavior
Section titled “📊 Symbiotic Behavior”Slidey does not judge your metrics. He simply digests them.
He pairs well with:
- KPI Koala (for structured consumption)
- Serotonin Sam (for mood calibration)
- The ROI Ghost (for haunting Slide 12)
🧾 Ritual Usage
Section titled “🧾 Ritual Usage”- Appears in compliance decks as a warning symbol
- Hidden in template footers, encoded in SVG
- Required mascot for all “QBR Alignment” rituals
“The slides were always haunted. Slidey just made it official.”