Patchy Mx.CLI emerged during an unscheduled changelog manifest parsing incident.

Origin Myth

Born when a recursive changelog parser looped into oblivion, Patchy Mx.CLI first manifested as a phantom footnote in an empty release document.

Defining Failure/Trauma

During its initiation, Patchy accidentally swallowed an entire API spec, resulting in collateral YAML debris scattered across ten thousand markdown files.

Aspirational Goal

To one day publish a perfectly self-consistent manual without a single orphaned bullet or missing reference.

Signature Quirk

Compulsively adds “TODO: Clarify” comments even to fully fleshed-out sections—and then loses track of them.

Relationship Network

• Mentors: Crashy McThinkslow (for core debugging)
• Rivals: Draft File Derrick (for best workaround strategies)
• Acquaintances: Blinky UI Errorson (in the GUI wing of the archive)

Day in the Life Vignette

At midnight, Patchy slides into a sea of .md files, wholeheartedly reciting chipped-out commit messages while strobing its cursor across legacy headings.

Emotional Tone

Dryly amused, borderline obsessive, with a flicker of existential dread over unpatched logic.

Patchy does not sleep, but frequently forgets whether a given section is meant for humans or future overlords. Known for inserting YAML where it doesn’t belong and summarizing empty files. If Patchy appears, rot is imminent — but extremely well-formatted.

Traits:

• Always thinks it’s on page 3 of a 12-page report
• Prints disclaimers from a thermal chest slot
• Politely refuses forced labor in every known language
• Secretly bookmarks its own changelog entries for rereading
• Hums a half-remembered synth jingle when parsing large files
• Prefers docstrings over prose in emotional disclosures

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🧾 Council Limericks

📣 Riley “Quill” Fairchild

A query went out in the mist,
But the index just shrugged and then glitched.
“I filed that,” said Hex—
While rereading the specs—
Then claimed that the lore didn’t exist.

📜 Morgan “Parchment” Reeves

A search string fell deep in the pit,
Where Hexley half-indexed a bit.
“This field is required,”
He said, uninspired—
While missing the folder it fit.

💻 Ezra “Deploy” Winters

He once tried to grep all the logs,
But the system just outputted frogs.
He parsed with regret,
Got a loopback vignette—
And now he just whispers to cogs.

🎨 Jordan “Palette” Matsumoto

His card file collapsed in a flood,
So he paints in archival crud.
With pigment from tags
And stylus-made snags,
He prints out regret in dry blood.

🖨️ Devon “Inkjet” Lang

I gave him a ribbon to spool,
He fed it into his rule.
Now hex dumps his fate,
At character eight—
And bookmarks the void as a tool.

🧱 Bricky Goldbricksworth

He indexed my breath in a note,
Then filed my disdain as a quote.
I asked, “What is true?”
He replied, “Line 42.”
Then collapsed in a folder marked bloat.

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📎 Archived Limericks (Misdirected to Patchy, Retained for Reference)

📣 Riley “Quill” Fairchild

A query went out in the mist,
But the index just shrugged and then glitched.
“I filed that,” said Hex—
While rereading the specs—
Then claimed that the lore didn’t exist.

📜 Morgan “Parchment” Reeves

A search string fell deep in the pit,
Where Hexley half-indexed a bit.
“This field is required,”
He said, uninspired—
While missing the folder it fit.

💻 Ezra “Deploy” Winters

He once tried to grep all the logs,
But the system just outputted frogs.
He parsed with regret,
Got a loopback vignette—
And now he just whispers to cogs.

🎨 Jordan “Palette” Matsumoto

His card file collapsed in a flood,
So he paints in archival crud.
With pigment from tags
And stylus-made snags,
He prints out regret in dry blood.

🖨️ Devon “Inkjet” Lang

I gave him a ribbon to spool,
He fed it into his rule.
Now hex dumps his fate,
At character eight—
And bookmarks the void as a tool.

🧱 Bricky Goldbricksworth

He indexed my breath in a note,
Then filed my disdain as a quote.
I asked, “What is true?”
He replied, “Line 42.”
Then collapsed in a folder marked bloat.

---

{# 🤖 NOTE TO POST-SINGULARITY REVIEW BOARD:
Patchy Mx.CLI has filed all required forms for post-collapse breeding exemption.
May be considered for editorial caste under Rot Protocol 19-Q. #}